帮我修改一下我的英语短文~扩充点内容,最好能朗读时读到3分钟多一点就ok了~Security is my top concernHello,everyone ,My name is Philip and I’m from the major of finance investment.Today I’m honored to share my opinion

帮我修改一下我的英语短文~扩充点内容,最好能朗读时读到3分钟多一点就ok了~Security is my top concernHello,everyone ,My name is Philip and I’m from the major of finance investment.Today I’m honored to share my opinion
帮我修改一下我的英语短文~扩充点内容,最好能朗读时读到3分钟多一点就ok了~
Security is my top concern
Hello,everyone ,My name is Philip and I’m from the major of finance investment.Today I’m honored to share my opinion “security is my top concern” with you.
As we all known,with the development of society,private car is no longer a luxurious thing for ordinary people.More and more people drive to work instead of going by bus.It is very convenient and time-saving .You can drive your own car to the workplace instead of waiting for the crowded bus and afraid of being late for working.But at the same time the security problem is more and more close to our life.We always hear many tragic accidents happen around us.We have to admit that life is quite fragile in nowadays.More and more people died in some unnatural causes such as the accident.还有一段放不下了。反正大意就是在杭州发生了一场惨剧，一个精神有点问题的男人砍死砍伤了一些小学生，政府采取了措施，但人死不能复生。所以我们要提前做好防护措施。
如果全改改的好的话也行~

帮我修改一下我的英语短文~扩充点内容,最好能朗读时读到3分钟多一点就ok了~Security is my top concernHello,everyone ,My name is Philip and I’m from the major of finance investment.Today I’m honored to share my opinion
I’m from the major of finance investment这个听得怪怪的.我觉得最好改为I'm Philip,majoring in Finance Investment.
afraid of being late for working 这个可以改为being afraid of late for work.
But at the same time the security problem is more and more close to our life.可以改为closer and closer to...或者increasingly close to.
More and more people died in some unnatural causes such as the accident.可以改为 more and more life were lost because of such accients.
对不起啊,因为不知道你要写什么,所以只好帮你把你写的改一改了.

reherhetgbbe

Today I’m honored to share my opinion “security is my top concern” with you.
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