帮我改下初中的英语作文,I don't want to grow upi'm 15 years old now,I look like other students ,so busy,I have too homework to do and don't have enough time to play with friends .one day ,I dream abrout my kid's timein a park,I play with my

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帮我改下初中的英语作文,I don't want to grow upi'm 15 years old now,I look like other students ,so busy,I have too homework to do and don't have enough time to play with friends .one day ,I dream abrout my kid's timein a park,I play with my

帮我改下初中的英语作文,I don't want to grow upi'm 15 years old now,I look like other students ,so busy,I have too homework to do and don't have enough time to play with friends .one day ,I dream abrout my kid's timein a park,I play with my
帮我改下初中的英语作文,
I don't want to grow up
i'm 15 years old now,I look like other students ,so busy,I have too homework to do
and don't have enough time to play with friends .
one day ,I dream abrout my kid's time
in a park,I play with my friends ,we all enjoy it
we haven't any homework ,and needn't study all day
later,I back home ,panrents don't to criticize me .and I hvae many time to enjoy the
lunch ,and i can watch cartoonsat home ,it's so funny .
evening ,i can go to bed after 10 o'clock
the next day ,i can get up at noon.and i can see sky ,ican see sea.
i go to amusement park ,i only need to pay for half-price ticket and even need't pay for any thing
so,i can enjoy any amusement park.it's so happy and fun
just now ,my alarm clock is ring ,oh ,it's just a dream .
next ,i have a quick breakfast ,it's 7 o'clock .I was always late for school,today.too
next,i go to teacher's office ,it's too bad .
then,i start to siwm at the sea of books ,i don't want to grow up
god ,please help me ,help me

帮我改下初中的英语作文,I don't want to grow upi'm 15 years old now,I look like other students ,so busy,I have too homework to do and don't have enough time to play with friends .one day ,I dream abrout my kid's timein a park,I play with my
i'm 15 years old now,I look like (look like 是看起来像,不太合适,可以用be like)other students ,so busy(这个用法好像不对.),I have too(应该加一个much) homework to do
and don't have enough time to play with friends .
one day ,I dream(应该是过去式,) abrout(拼错了.) my kid's (kid’s不对.kid是孩子.如果你想说童年应该是childhood.而且你的下文写的没有作业什么的是不是不切实际?你这里的意思应该是你真正经历过的童年的时间)time
in a park,I play with my friends ,we all enjoy it(应该是过去式吧)
we haven't(应该是don't have) any homework ,and needn't study all day
later,I (应该加一个动词came.)back home ,panrents(应该是my parents.单词拼错了parents) don't to (应该是didn't.没有to)criticize me .and I hvae(应该是had) many(应该是much.因为time不可数.many修饰可数名词) time to enjoy the
lunch ,and i can(应该could) watch cartoonsat(注意空格.) home ,it's so funny(funny放这里有点不恰当.这个词有点“滑稽的”的意思.换成relaxing什么的应该好些吧.) .
(in the 或者直接用at night.反正不能直接evening)evening ,i can(could) go to bed after 10 o'clock
the next day ,i can(could) get up at noon.and i can see sky ,ican see sea(应该需要加the.而且句子有点不顺.).
i go to amusement park ,i only need to pay for half-price ticket and even need't pay for(pay for 的意思是为什么而支付.后面跟的是你买的东西而不是花的东西.这里应该用spend) any thing
,i can enjoy any amusement park(t如果你的意思是任何游乐园应该加s).it's so happy and fun
just now ,my alarm clock is ring(应该是rang.因为是just now 应该用过去式.注意不要加is) ,oh ,it's just a dream .
next ,i have a quick breakfast ,it's 7 o'clock .I was(always的话就用一般现在时.用am就行) always late for school,today.too(应该是我今天又迟到了.这个用法应该不对)
nex(上文有个next就不要再next了)t,i go to teacher's office ,it's too bad .
then,i start to siwm at the sea of books ,i don't want to grow up
god ,please help me ,help me
PS:可能有错误地方.我也初中.见谅.看在打了那么多字的份上.

我不想长大
我15岁了,我像其他学生看,这么忙,我有太多功课要做
并且没有足够的时间和朋友玩。
有一天,我梦想abrout我的孩子的时候
在一个公园,我和我的朋友一起玩,我们都喜欢它
我们没有任何的功课,也不必整天研究
后来,我回到家里,panrents不要批评我。与我有很多时间享受
午...

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我不想长大
我15岁了,我像其他学生看,这么忙,我有太多功课要做
并且没有足够的时间和朋友玩。
有一天,我梦想abrout我的孩子的时候
在一个公园,我和我的朋友一起玩,我们都喜欢它
我们没有任何的功课,也不必整天研究
后来,我回到家里,panrents不要批评我。与我有很多时间享受
午餐,我可以看cartoonsat家,它是如此有趣。
晚上,我可以去睡觉了10点后
第二天,我可以得到noon.and我就可以看到天空,看到的人生指明海......
我去游乐园,我只需要支付半价票,甚至need't支付任何东西
所以,我可以享受任何的游乐园。它是如此快乐和乐趣

刚才,我的闹钟响,哦,这只是一个梦。
接下来,我有一个快速的早餐,它的7点。我总是学校,today.too晚
接下来,我去老师的办公室,这太糟糕了。
然后,我开始siwm在书的海洋,我不想长大
上帝,请帮助我,帮助我

(您可以参考一下)

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i don't want to grow up
i'm 15 years old now, I look like other students(这句可以改成as other students) ,(这里加主语:i'm so busy)so busy,I have too (much) homework to do and don't have enough time to p...

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i don't want to grow up
i'm 15 years old now, I look like other students(这句可以改成as other students) ,(这里加主语:i'm so busy)so busy,I have too (much) homework to do and don't have enough time to play with friends .
one day , I dream(dreamt) abrout(about) my kid's time(是童年的意思么?用childhood)
in a park, I play(played) with my friends ,we all enjoy it (改成we all enjoyed our time好一些)
we haven't(最好用didn't have) any homework ,and needn't(didn't need to) study all day
later,I (back是个介词,要加上谓语.加came)back home , panrents(拼写错误.parents) don't to(改成didn't,不要to) criticize me .and I hvae(时态错误had) many time to enjoy the
lunch ,and i can(could) watch cartoons at home,it's(it was) so funny .
(加In the) evening ,i can(could) go to bed after 10 o'clock
the next day ,i can(could) get up at noon.and i can(could) see sky ,i can(could) see sea......
i go(went) to amusement park ,i only need(needed) to pay for half-price ticket and even need't(didn't need to) pay for any (把空格去掉anything)thing
so,i can(could) enjoy any amusement park. it's so happy and fun

just now ,my alarm clock is ring(把ring改成ringing,或者is ring改成rang,just now也可以表示现在) ,oh ,it's just a dream .
next (最后改成then吧,不然跟下面的next重复了),i have a quick breakfast ,it's 7 o'clock .I was(always表示一般的情况,要用一般现在时,除非文章说明了是过去经常做某事,所以was改成am) always late for school,today.too(today.too改成:today,i do the same)
next,i go to teacher's office ,it's too bad .
then,(改成after that比较好~) i start to siwm(感觉这里用swim不妥,应该在书海中遨游啥的,可以用travel in,如果用travel in就得把后面的at去掉了) at the sea of books ,i(这句可以加强语气,加个really) don't want to grow up
god ,please help me ,help me!
- -好吧,如果要秀下英文水平..我可不可以说我高二就过了四级的..
现在大二了- -对英文毫无压力..嗯..
又一次成功装~~~B了- -

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